The bigger part of my heart still wants you to be with me. It still wants you to peep in my life and pop in my thoughts.
Like this speck of light, I want you to come to me once more.
Today is one of those days when I want to write but do not know what to. It’s not same as other days when I want to write but could not or I could write but I do not. It doesn’t make me sad to realize that I am unable to pen down my thoughts. My mind is shooting millions of thoughts with zillion times of speed that too at one go. And it’s crazy to try to catch them all up. Needless to say I am failing every time. Miserably. But I am proceeding to my next catch with mouthful of giggles accompanied by stars in my eyes. And that’s what matter. It reflects in my eyes. Can’t say when was the last time I looked this much beautiful. These days I shine in happiness. The glow is visible. The people around me too are getting enwrapped in my glow. That’s the best part about being genuinely happy. The positive vibes are so strong and effective that they spread around and wrap everything up so beautifully that you feel like being a child once again who chases butterfly even amid concrete walls. The four walls of your room transcend to a field of sunflowers and the roof above becomes your sky where resides a sun who dances to your every whistle. As far as you can see, you see butterflies. You see colours. You see LIFE.
No I don’t have a job yet. And I do not know when I will have one. Yet I am HAPPY.
When in LOVE you see formation of eight colours even in the core of BLACK.
In each blink, everything appears just the same. Is it same or it just appears to be so? Hollow. Empty. The world around me looks nothing more than that. I wonder! has the emptiness around has sucked me in or is it just the other way round? I touch the walls of my room and of my heart. Black soot smears my palm. Mirror. Is not it all broken? I can see the reflection very clearly. Which one is true... ‘I’ in the mirror, broken from every perspective or ‘I’ standing in front of it, all intact?
It’s not the first time that I have lost myself but when was the last time I was lost so much so that I could never find my way back to me ever again? It feels so strange whether I turn back or look ahead. I am a stranger anyways. Last night it was raining and I happened to enslave few rain drops on my palm. I played with them for a while and suddenly I reflected there in too. I could not recognize myself. I freed the rain drops instantly.
Connection. I have lost all my inner connections with everything possible. I can’t connect to anything but you. But all the chords that lead to you are broken now. I tore them apart. Every single of them. Detached, I feel numb. Uncomfortably numb. But hey! do you still feel connected to me even when the chords are no more there? On a bigger note, were there ever any chord? Did we ever required any? I guess we did not. I guess we do not. And I guess we would never.
May be it is time to tear my own self apart into zillions of pieces. O! I can do that, any moment. It’s not tough you know. It’s kinda easier than living numb. But what stops me from doing it you know are the doubts that will you ever come to collect the broken pieces of me? Piece by piece will you ever stitch me up? With each stitch will you ever instil in me my true essence back? And once stitched will I ever be the one whom I have lost somewhere in the rush of emptiness?
Re-invention is what I seek about me...by you...for us.
