A Letter to God.

Dear God,


As I grow in life may I learn the wisdom to see people as they are, not as they appear.


I wish I was not so ignorant of the true shades of human nature. I wish I was not a fool to trust people just like that. Someone close once told me a sensitive girl can seldom succeed. And it seems to be so so so true.


Yours Truly
MystiquePree

♥ Life is not tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.♥

No I am not copy-pasting it. Re-reading it countless times , I am typing all the 50 points so that they seep in me. Thank you Regina Brett for your 50 Life Lessons.

♥ Life isn't fair but it's still good.

♥ When in doubt, just take the next small step.

♥ Life is too short to waste time in hating anyone.

♥ Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

♥ Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.

♥ Pay off your credit cards every month.

♥ You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

♥ Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

♥ It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

♥ If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

♥ Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

♥ When it comes to Chocolate, resistance is futile.

♥ It's OK to let your children see you cry.

♥ Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

♥ Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

♥ Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

♥ You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

♥ A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

♥ It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

♥ When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take NO for an answer.

♥ Burn the candle, use nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

♥ Overprepare, then go with the flow.

♥ Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

♥ Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

♥ The most important sex organ is the brain.

♥ No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

♥ Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will these matter?"

♥ Always choose LIFE.

♥ Forgive everyone everything.

♥ What other people think of you is none of your business.

♥ Time heals almost everything. Give Time time.

♥ However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

♥ Believe in miracles.

♥ God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

♥ Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

♥ Growing old beats the alternative- dying young.

♥ Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

♥ Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotions.

♥ Get outside everyday. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

♥ If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we would grab our back.

♥ Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

♥ Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

♥ All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

♥ Envy is a waste of time. You already have what you need.

♥ The best is yet to come.

♥ No matter how you feel. Get up, dress up and show up.

♥ Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

♥ If you don't ask, you don't get.

♥ Yield.

♥ Life is not tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

. . .

Iss mod se jate hai 

Kuch sust kadam raste 

Kuch tez kadam raahein…

This beautiful song kind of haunts me. The feeling glides all over me, softly piercing my heart. Still the song continues in a loop. And with every beat my heart churns some more. All I can feel is a pain. A pain whose story has got no beginning or any end. And I cry a tearless bucket.

I am standing at a threshold and few steps ahead awaits a phase of life from where in I have to grow up big time sharing responsibilities hand in hand or sometime all alone.

May be it was time to get mature long time back and I could not extract this out of life at the right time. Do you ever feel like stranded on a cross road? Because of the choices I have made in life or the way I have executed them, I feel estranged.

For some weird reasons I feel as if with every step I take, I end up in a crossroad. Every next step is a battle for I don’t know to where I belong. The biggest challenge that life has thrown at me that continues to remain unresolved is what I want to be and do in life. I am moving regardless of any aim. I feel Aimless-Directionless-Useless. No matter what I do, I can hear a voice backfiring at me. I know I am not happy by the way I am leading my life. The worst feeling is when you know you are wasting your life and in my case I am doing it every day. You need to have an aim in life and I confess I don’t have any. No disappointment can be bigger than this. There is always a burning chaos in me. My life is perplexed and undisciplined. I am not in peace with myself.

Sometimes I really wonder; would my absence ever affect the life of the people I know. How long will they miss me? Is time really the greatest healer? Does life really moves on? Honestly I don’t want any one of my loved ones to move past over me. It’s kind of a healing touch you know to believe that I hold a precious place in their life and no one can take over my place. But how long? I know one day people would learn to live without me. My absence won’t matter except for a time or two. But I am selfish and I want you to miss me. I am a kind of person who tortures herself and everyone around with many things hypothetical. I can really go cruel with this habit of mine. And I know I ain’t going anywhere. Does that make you hate me?

Have I been a little serious in my life in the past, I might not have been feeling this much miserable now. I feel so miserable to realize that how unkindly I have trampled the high hopes and all the dreams that my parents had/have on me. What worst is that I know I was meant for something greater, grander and something meaningful. I know I am being harsh on me but then sooner or later I have to accept this truth.

Patthar ki haveli ko 

sheeshe ke gharoundo mein 

Tinko ke nasheman tak 

Iss mod se jate hain...

While contemplating the past, present and future of my life, I just realized how in different ways we all have gone. Though we started our journey from many of the same points. Some are successful. Some are not. But what’s the definition of success? There was a time in life when we chose different roads with the promise of keeping in touch forever. I don’t miss my school or college friends. I am not even in touch with them. But then why I am thinking of them now? Surely I don’t want my life to be like theirs, no matter how happy they are in there own way. But then so very naturally I compare myself which leads me to the path of self loathing. Sometime coz I stand no where and sometimes coz I have fallen so low that I am comparing my good self.

It’s not everyday that I acknowledge these few painful truths about myself. I don’t have the courage always to face them. Knowingly I ignore them, avoid them. But still they eat me up. Somewhere inside they are turning me hollow.

I find myself in the verge of frustration, even mild depression often. The frequency of their occurrence has reduced for sure but still…I dint have anyone before I had you with whom I can share. Not because people would not understand me. I feel incapable of expressing. It’s only with you I can bare myself. But you know baby, I can’t express myself properly. Even the matters that raise huge turmoil in me, falls flat when I try to let them out. They appear so run of the mill. May be they actually are in reality. Will there ever come a time when I would express myself freely?

I am seeking peace and I know it will come the day I will start doing something that gives meaning to my life. A purpose to my otherwise estranged life. I need to tread on the right path. The way towards happiness where a sense of achievement awaits me. If not anyone else, I want me to be proud of myself. Can you help me to unleash the path which would take me to where I belong to? Where I could live without the cover of pretence… unadulterated… raw and naked to what I am?

I have found my anchor in you. I know, one of the paths lead to you. Life is not that bad. Coz the path that leads to you is the same one where you walk with me hand in hand. May we never have to tread off.

Ye Soch Ke Baithhi Hu Ik Raah To Woh Hogi


Tum Tak Jo Pahonchti Hai Is Mod Se Jaati Hai

P.S: I know i will realize it a li'l latter what all i have written here. may i never have to regret a single thing expressed here, so what it was done in a hit of a moment. baby if you happen to read it now, don't call me as i don't want to break down in to tear.

Wishes are not horses.

Some nights all I have got is your outline. I trace your eyes, your cheeks but my fingers refuse to move past your lips. Have I ever told you how much my fingers love to glide through your hair? How I feel like pushing those layers over your forehead aside? And then to kiss on your empty forehead?

The touch of those silken textures feels like a much-loved dream.

If only photographs could reciprocate.

Memoirs of Another Kind.

At the temple, there is a poem called "Loss" carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read Loss, only feel it.

~*~

The heart dies, a slow death,

shedding each hope like leaves...

... until one day there are none.

No hopes. Nothing remains.

She paints her face to hide her face.

Her eyes like deep water.

It is not for Geisha to want.

It is not for Geisha to feel.

Geisha is an artist

of the floating world.

She dances. She sings. She entertains you,whatever you want.

The rest is shadows. The rest is secret.

~*~

You cannot say to the sun “more sun,”

or to the rain “less rain.”

To a man Geisha can only be half a wife.

We are the wives of nightfall.

And yet to learn of kindness…

… after so much unkindness. To understand that

a little girl with more courage than she knew,

would find that her prayers were answered.

Can that not be called happiness?

After all, these are not the memoirs

of an empress, nor of a queen…

… these are memoirs of another kind.

~Memoirs of a Geisha~