As I close my eyes, I feel you there-
Wrapped in the blanket of darkness.
A thousand light-years away from me
I see you kissing the meteors.
O you! how does it feel to be the king
Of all those sand and stones?
How does it feel to tame the Dark,
Planets- known and unknown?
I stay here, with my buried desires
Deep Inside my shackled heart.
Sharing bed I feel insane
With the corpses of my dreams.
I flutter and flutter with my clipped wings
Till eternity laughs at me.
A broken mirror is what I am
Dead, Demised and Nothing.
~~~***~~~
Its really hard for me to compose anything these days and may be that's why the quality is not upto the mark this time. :(
I wrote this poem with 'nothing' particular on my mind but after re-reading it, I realized that there is a broader meaning attached to it, which is somewhat universal in nature. So friends, definitely I am interested and curious to know the meanings you have infered from the poem.
Go ahead and jot them all down. :)
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46 Dew Drops:
without me, you are no one
nothing will be you n not me
i rule everyone alive, for sure
so, i rule you too..!!!
you feel shattered, not me
you are sad , not me
you may be broken, not me
i am your dream, keeping u alive..!!
believe in me, accept my path
celebrate every step to me
smile at every hurdle
one day, you will reach me
then you will become the mirror
to the world you are in
teaching the rest, about success
and showing me off to the rest of the world..!!!
how are my lines Preeti?? i felt them after reading your poems...!!!
yippie first here....!!!
thr narrator is a broken spirit but her happiness lies galaxies away.that's wat i infer 4m this poem.its a fact that real happiness is always away.
the meaning I infered that
there is a silver surfer and there is a gal who is love with his outfit and surf board but
surfer is busy roaming in the galaxy and ladki is waiting there on his home planet :P
achha tha na :P...
isse jyada accha universal aur koi nhi...poora universal studio k movie plot jaisa hai :P
What I nfer from this poetry is that Happiness is always a distant dream.And the realisation that grass is always greener on the other side...He is happy being the king of sand and stones and the poor girl thinks she is the one who is suffering:(
Btw, I quite liked this one!:-)
Love always,
Akanksha
Yes, there is nothing absolutely. It was like searching our shadow in darkness. For us the horizon looks bright with sun rays and dull in nights in frozen rays of moon. But its same as always and only light creates the magic. Nice verse preeti :)
Your poem was too good yamini :)
quality is not upto the mark?? u r crazy!! its damn good, trust me.
what i felt: you are conversing with your long lost dreams, reluctant to fight back the memories. :)
i'd say the protagonist in question is surrendering her dignity on bed every night and is being crushed..ultimately she feels dead.. and she is jealous of the moon..
:)my take..
Someone says they can't write but they keep churning out good stuff! :P
Who said it's not up to the mark Dumbi?In fact,it's one of your most mature poems I have ever read.As for my inference,like you said,it's universal,in every sense of the word :)
I can quite relate to the words of this poem.
Keep up the great work dear!Love you.Hugssssssssss
maybe am wrong but its a beautiful way to sum up all those dreams and desires and the frustrations of not being able to live those things...
take care... cheers...
i felt the same as pink too...! :)
and ur words are still great only..! how dare u criticize urself like this? :)
Nice poem there... and somehow it's when you write with nothing preconcieved in your mind, that's when the most interesting things come out :)
It was great, no doubt about it... I don't know why you didn't like it though, I for one sure loved it!
Keep writing... Cheers...
Nice one. In this, what I like the most is the freedom you give to the reader to see things according to his/her own state of mind. Like it vy mch.
@yamini,
wowwwwwww girl! u always mng to tk my breath away. :)
@yamini,
ye ye yippieeeee u were d 1st here :D
@anwesha,
interesting it was :)
i wonder why real happiness is so far away always. :(
take care :)
@sourish,
bahut hi badiya tha. :D
hope ladki ka wait jaldi khatam ho jaye :P
pure universal studio ka movie plot jaise tha? hahaha :D
THANKS :)
take care
@akanksha,
wowwwwwww girl. lovely interpretation. :)
so very true u r dear. for us grass is always greener on the other side. the girl is not happy with whatever she has but doesn't realize that how could one be happy in bng the king of stones.
thanks for liking it dear.
love u too always.
(((aks)))
@jeevan,
thanks a lot jeevan :)
loved ur inference a lot. so very true u r jeeven that its the light that creates d difference otherwise everything else is the same.
n i agree that yamini's poem is really very good. :)
take care
@anil,
hehehe thnks anzie. :D
is it not a reality that we engage ourselves with our old memories and broken dreams? :) we crib, crib and crib and in our subconscious mind we live them. :P
loved ur inference, :)
@ kajal,
loved ur interpretation dear. its a reality of so many women. every night their dignity is crushed.
thanks dear. :)
@sameera,
love u dadimum. ur love helps me to churn out good stuffs. :)
thanks for the appreciation angel.
n tumhara n mera inference ka ek hona to ekdam natural hai haina. :p
love u.hugsssssssss.
really nice..I infer is that she is interacting with the Universal One , about her dreams that died premature.
keep it Up!!!
@arv,
no u r not at all wrong mate in fact in literature no one is wrong. :)
i loved ur inference.
thank you arv. :)
@vinay,
yes both of urs and kajal's inferences are interesting and a reality. :)
thanks dear. i wont dare to criticize myself anymore.
take care.
@arnab,
thanks a lot arnab. and yes so true u are. human mind is so very interesting na. :p
thanks again for the appreciation.
even i am loving the poem now. :p
take care
@jagjit,
welcome here jagjit.
thank you. :)i love the freedom of expression. and the fact that a thing can be perceived in so many different ways,interests me a lot. :)
take care
@rahul,
welcome here rahul.
i found ur inference to be a very interesting one. i liked it.
thank you rahul :)
take care
the girl has reached her menopause?
*period*
my way of looking at it.. no vulgar thoughts though...
www.chronicwriter.com
How does it really feel to be the king of all those sand and stones?
Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late
itss ok...sometimes we get blocked..
yeh nothingness bhi aachi hai dear
i hope u havent lost something important in life in recent past!! :)
i liked the poem... u write very well... better than most i know!! :)
The painting is just soo perfect!
I will be back to re-read the poem,and give you a better account of my after thoughts! :)..
stay happy!
I just loved the lines !! really brilliant .. specially the second para :)
like i told you, its awesome :)
and you are one crazy chookcha to think it is not up to the mark.. unless you put the mark quite above the Shakespear? :P
loved it, really great work dear :)
As your title rightly says, Absolute Nothing... It is all a mirage.
Top class! Take a bow...
Peace. Have a nice day.
Was away for a while... Yep, back now. Trust all is well.
Peace.
Very strong lines there!!! And the image complements your lines quite well, frankly. Well done, you!!!
Faking to be happy in unfamiliar grounds is something I infer from the first verse. And, the second verse is an expression from an honest individual who has broken dreams like anyone else around. Unfulfilled dreams, rules and regulations aka ethics to abide since been violated by you, perhaps are showing a broken image. That accounts for nothingness inside of you.
Very well-written!!! Keep at it!!!
hei...just came to tell you tht this is a beautiful poem...loved it...good work..and kind regards :)
wow...nice poem... :)
even urs,yamini.. :)
hey preeti... 1st time here... came thru hemanths blog... :)
this is really deep i love it, it really speaks to me, because i have that dark side that knows how to take control and and basically be "King" as you put it but it's wrong and we know it but we stil envy for some reason, we envy the raw power of that other side
Hi, the poem is good, there is a high contrast between the two verses... that creates balance, the first one is on a cheerful note, and the second more depression, first is him, second is you.... IT also shows how u put him first... This review is from a person who sucks at poetry :) But thats how i see it..
Haiku
This one is too beautiful..
Its carrying alot of meaning in it...
glad that i read it :)
keep writing ..:)
Thanks for visiting my space...
Cheers...
Who told you the quality is not good? Its beautiful girl...
I likedcthe way you used the allegory of celestial bodies to state your feelings in a stark manner...
I loved the pic too and Yamini has written a wonderful composition at the top...
mithe
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