To a certain Someone-

आपमें और मुझमें
कई परतो की दूरी सी है.
कुछ रेशम के धागो सी
तो कुछ रंगीन शामों की.

वो ग़लती से मेरा तुझको छू देना
ग़लती तो शायद ही थी!
तेरा मुस्कुराना भर ही काफ़ी था
धड़कनो को बे-लगाम करने के लिए.

उन हवाओ संग बहते हुए
मेरी ज़ुल्फो में कुछ तमन्नाए सी थी.
कुछ सैलाब सा था जो
गरज बरस के इंतेज़ार में बंजर सा रो रहा था.

तू आता है तो एक
सुकून सा महसूस होता है.
तू जाता है तो भी
सुकून सा ही महसूस होता है.

रूह को शायद
तेरे होने भर से ही...

एक लगाव सा कुछ हो गया है.

Sharod Subechcha!!!

Ok! so I have nothing much to write!!

This year the month of October is lucky for me. Maa Durga blessed me with a better job. But the irony is, this is the only year i didn't go out to attend the puja ceremony. We Bengali's wait for Durga Puja the whole year. Shopping and preparations know no bounds. But my special pack of five days filled with fun and frolic and off course devotion were spent in office and then at home. Nobody back home was ready to accompany me to the puja pandals. What worse was that my handful of friends with whom I can be me are no more near me. Bayzid has moved back to his homeland long back without leaving behind a single message for me. It still hurts as we were so very close to each other. The reasons behind why he did so are better known to him. I have a faint idea of it but still they don't measure up to for leaving without any note. Anyways no issues as everybody moves on and so did he. May God bless him always. :)

This year Unnayan is in Canada and Shankha... he is very much here but could not meet him too. Goirick and Sagorika are enjoying the autumn of Durga pooja in the lap of their home town in beautiful North East.

Yeah! yeah! I have handful of close friends and needless to say most of them are guys.

This year I missed every single thing associated with Durga pooja. Those endless shopping, which saree to wear during ashtami poojo anjali, excitement to catch up with old friends, bumping into one of them amidst the rush of unknown people, had to say hi as I couldn't avoid you situations, khichuri aar payesh, endless addas and photo clicking, habijabi ja icche tai khawa..... the list is endless.

Dhak-sheuli-dhunuchi-aaroti-poojo-proshad-anando-utshov... i missed everything. Damn I am upset. :(

Pree stop! it's too much of whinning. Don't you know asche bochor abar hobe :D

So all you lovely people out there, Bijoya Doshomi'r preeti o subeccha to you all. May all the Ravans in your life burn today. :)

Signing off for now leaving behind one of the most beautiful videos that celebrates the essence of divinity called Durga Pooja. Hope you would love to watch this beautiful creation by Rajesh Chakraborty.

♥Love and Carez ♥

image courtesy: a friend of mine :)

! ♥ ツ

Image by Yours Truly-Preetilata

It was so silly of me to think all these years that he will weave me a world of thousand stars whenever I will be in his arms; soft enough to transcend me to an all together different world of love so pure and at the same time strong enough to protect me from every evil eyes.

Yes! I am in love. Period. I am in love with a man who didn’t weave me a world of stars but of love only. Love that blossoms in the essence of reality. Whenever he holds me in those soft and strong arms of him; it is so gentle- the touch and yet it creates a massive turmoil of love and passion inside my heart that it becomes so difficult to remain the one I am. I become the one whom I was searching aimlessly everywhere possible. I can feel that I am falling head over heels in love with this man and can bet that there can’t exist anyone better than him in this world for me. I feel “me” with “him”... I find “me” in “him”.

You are so much far away that ‘missing you’ pang has to hit me hard every five minutes. It feels great to be in love honey but the pain is enormous when I miss you and I guess I am getting addicted not only to your love but to this inflicting pain also. The whole day I just wait for the night to fall down on me. I know that star is waiting for me exactly at that same place where you have left it for me. It glows with your love and in return I radiate from its warmth.

Probably you would never know how beautiful the moment was when you asked me to go to my balcony and to search for that one brightest star. But that small piece of sky with only one star in it has become the very essence of my life. It gives me strength...it gives me hope... it gives me the warmth of you. It tells me strongly that no matter where I am; you are never very far away from me. In a nutshell my life is in the safe enclosure of yours and I am happy in there.

You tell me that it was too fast and I say you again that whatever has happened was not there in our hands. Love just happens and it happened to us too. I don’t know where our destiny will take us but I know that I am in love and I am in love with YOU. Now I don’t dream of a world weaved with stars anymore but of a home with you. The same home that I have seen while joining the lines of your right hand with my left one.

~Written on 29-Mar'10 while feeling utterly romantic. or was i utterly emotional? A concoction of both would fit in better.

Praying for the Dawn~

Clueless...

about what to do.

Something is very dreadful about this night, for it has deprived me of sleep once again.

With nobody around to talk to, one more time I have returned to you My White Window. But I don't know what kind of solace do I get by staring at your color which is no more white.

I have always hated black templates, for they hurt this pair of insomniac eyes.

Lyrics | Nathan Larson - Bluest Eyes in Texas lyrics

~

... and yet again night falls on me dragging the satin of star studded dreams.

Words elude me.

. . . and whenever this realization dawns upon me,

I cry.

I give it the name of pure *mood swing*. i know i lie.

Sadly enough,

my tear drops never elude me, no matter how hard I try

FULL STOP

For you my Khushi~

Let the Zephyr caress you in a sylvan gait,

Through the slivers of your heart o li’l mermaid.

From lullabies to Sonatas to umpteenth Ode,

O Zephyr, caress her too with songs of abode.

Fondle her with a gentle kiss, Ruffle past her heart.

Spell out the memories golden whilst thee depart.

Paint a smile fonder than ever for her morrows,

Before faraway you run, Melt all my mermaid’s sorrows.

~**~

Untitled~

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The bigger part of my heart still wants you to be with me. It still wants you to peep in my life and pop in my thoughts.

I miss the way I used to carve you on pages.

Like this speck of light, I want you to come to me once more.

My Words: I MISS YOU!!!

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HAPPY ME

Today is one of those days when I want to write but do not know what to. It’s not same as other days when I want to write but could not or I could write but I do not. It doesn’t make me sad to realize that I am unable to pen down my thoughts. My mind is shooting millions of thoughts with zillion times of speed that too at one go. And it’s crazy to try to catch them all up. Needless to say I am failing every time. Miserably. But I am proceeding to my next catch with mouthful of giggles accompanied by stars in my eyes. And that’s what matter. It reflects in my eyes. Can’t say when was the last time I looked this much beautiful. These days I shine in happiness. The glow is visible. The people around me too are getting enwrapped in my glow. That’s the best part about being genuinely happy. The positive vibes are so strong and effective that they spread around and wrap everything up so beautifully that you feel like being a child once again who chases butterfly even amid concrete walls. The four walls of your room transcend to a field of sunflowers and the roof above becomes your sky where resides a sun who dances to your every whistle. As far as you can see, you see butterflies. You see colours. You see LIFE.

No I don’t have a job yet. And I do not know when I will have one. Yet I am HAPPY.

When in LOVE you see formation of eight colours even in the core of BLACK.

Bits and Pieces!!

In each blink, everything appears just the same. Is it same or it just appears to be so? Hollow. Empty. The world around me looks nothing more than that. I wonder! has the emptiness around has sucked me in or is it just the other way round? I touch the walls of my room and of my heart. Black soot smears my palm. Mirror. Is not it all broken? I can see the reflection very clearly. Which one is true... ‘I’ in the mirror, broken from every perspective or ‘I’ standing in front of it, all intact?

It’s not the first time that I have lost myself but when was the last time I was lost so much so that I could never find my way back to me ever again? It feels so strange whether I turn back or look ahead. I am a stranger anyways. Last night it was raining and I happened to enslave few rain drops on my palm. I played with them for a while and suddenly I reflected there in too. I could not recognize myself. I freed the rain drops instantly.

Connection. I have lost all my inner connections with everything possible. I can’t connect to anything but you. But all the chords that lead to you are broken now. I tore them apart. Every single of them. Detached, I feel numb. Uncomfortably numb. But hey! do you still feel connected to me even when the chords are no more there? On a bigger note, were there ever any chord? Did we ever required any? I guess we did not. I guess we do not. And I guess we would never.

May be it is time to tear my own self apart into zillions of pieces. O! I can do that, any moment. It’s not tough you know. It’s kinda easier than living numb. But what stops me from doing it you know are the doubts that will you ever come to collect the broken pieces of me? Piece by piece will you ever stitch me up? With each stitch will you ever instil in me my true essence back? And once stitched will I ever be the one whom I have lost somewhere in the rush of emptiness?

Re-invention is what I seek about me...by you...for us.

Utopia ~

Lost in the woods of tranced milieu

I search thou not o dear soul

Wandering amidst the parched stream

Thou seem to me a worn out stone,

The songs thy lips once sang to me

Were cherubic enough to soak me in,

(Now)I find them nothing more than leaves

Dried enough to crumble in jiffy,

Lost in the woods I lose myself

Again and again with the wind insane,

Far from thy and far from me

The yellow wild flower

Seems purely alive.

~~**~~

~Come'n guys, again it's time to pour down your interpretations about the poem.

~I know, I know, it's been so long since I am missing from all your blogs. Well it's not that i haven't visited your blogs at all but I am more of a silent reader all this time. Blame it on my tight schedule as well as on my poor net connection. I hope to be regular in sometime soon.

~ I feel so proud to tell you all that the new template was made by none other than 'Yours Truly'. And I just love this complete new look of my blog. I feel so fresh and happy :)

~ The above pic is designed by my brother Avinab.

~Dhundhla Aks~

एक साँस मेरी आज भी बाकी है

जो मुझसे ना जाने क्या कुछ कह जाती है.

मैं खो जाती हूँ उस नर्म चादर तले

जहाँ एक आवाज़ आज भी गूँज जाती है.

जो कोना मैने सजाया था

उन यादों की तस्वीरों से

वो आज भी लिपटी रहती है

गिरे ओस की महक से.

कितने मौसम बीत चुके है

कितने सावन बरसे है.

लम्हा लम्हा कितना ये दिल

बरस बरस के तरसा है.

महसूस किया है पल पल फिर भी

कभी कभी उस कोने में-

"कोई खोई परछाई जैसे मुझे

आज भी छू जाती ही".

~***~

ek sans meri aaj bhi baki hai

jo mujhse na jane kya kuch kaha jati hai.

main kho jati hoon us narm chader tale

jahaan ek awaaz aaj bhi gunj jati hai.

jo kona maine sajaya tha

un yaadon ki tasveeron se

woh aaj bhi lipti rahati hai

gire os ki mahak se.

kitne mausam beet chuke hai

kitne saawan barse hai.

lamha lamha kitna ye dil

baras baras ke tarsa hai.

mahasus kiya hai pal pal phir bhi

kabhi kabhi us kone mein-

"koi khoi parchai jaise mujhe

aaj bhi chu jaati hi".

~***~

~Penned this poem on 2nd March' 08 as my comment to this poem by Indrajit who blogs at Eternal Sonatas.

~ Please read the poem by my Tweeny here. Her "Phanhtom of Memories" is a close translation to my poem in english.

~Sorry for not visiting all your blogs. I am hell stuck up in my college works plus there is some problem in my laptop. I will soon visit your blogs.

The Blues and the Clouds Beckon

"Badal pe paon hain,

Ya jhootha gaon hain,

Ab to hain chal padi,

Apni ye nao hain!!!"

I am already flying. Even before my flight takes off, literally.. I am on cloud infinity and even beyond!

As a part of my college trip, I will be flying past the seas, the mountains, and the vastness to Dubai in a day's time. Gosh! Since the day I graced my heart with this news, I wondered, 'is it for real, really!'

Don't ask me how thrilled I am. I am really, really incomprehensibly excited to fly past the tapestry of my imaginations and step in to the real... Dubai beckons.. A dream beckons... possibilities.... excitement... !!!

To add to the bewilderment, I have been adviced, coaxed, warned and even threatened with extreme consequences from my kins and siblings to bring certain items from Dubai and the list only accumulates with every passing day. I myself, bought a Sony Digi Cam, to surrender myself to the ministrations of shooting bug to the unseen, oodles of bounty that Dubai beckons for.

As i hear from the 1st batch the fun they had there, I simply can't wait and the excitement is soaring up every minute. The sea shores, the desert safaris, the luxurious swish locales...... the clock is ticking... ticking..... :)

So, friends, wish me Bon Voyage, Bon Appetite for my journey.

Meanwhile, you be good. Peace!

~***~

ps: the pic was taken by my li'l brother from my brand new sony cybershot. :)

A scratch on my lens

" Once I bloomed, to be with you.

Today I am an elapsed reminiscence.

Day by day, I am fading away.

Into the oblivion

Far from you

Forever... Forever! "

~***~

i clicked these pics quite some time back. would love to read your "take" on the pics.

thanks a lot for all your beautiful and interesting inferences on my previous poem.

Harmony

My soul is one widespread canvas

With shades and paeans of every color

Stories so different each color tells

Memories and mysteries each veils and unveils.

Entwined my life is with the strings of colors

Splashes of happiness they spur and spur.

Ensconced my soul is in the ocean of hues

My heart tranced, melts in the lap of muse.

Every word transpires to a lyric soulful

When the spirit soaked in color holds the tune.

Beams my life with radiance bright

When the seven colors blend into one pure White

~~~***~~~

Tum Jeeyo Hazaroon Saal :)

My sweetest chookcha-jaanu-maanu-saalu

So much of love I have for you

More than the ocean and even more

More than the sea shells ever on the shore.

My golden haired fairy queen,

My angel in her gracious sheen

‘Beauty’ is YOU and so is your SOUL

Those hazel green eyes-reflect you pure.

My gift of life, a soul sweetest

A big bear hug and many kisses.

To my soul sister and life’s harness

Happy Birthday Lenu, God Bless!

~~~***~~~

Recollecting Memories

Life is a mixture of everything. And it is not possible to recollect everything at a time. Something or the other we will always miss. That’s why memories are always so special. It keeps popping up when we least expect it but eludes us when we try to cup it. This is what I exactly feel whenever I read my musings.

Entrapped memories become a cascade when I spill them over the pages of my diary. The rhapsody it creates is the cadence of my soul. It is the symphony that only I can understand at times.

Each thing I write is nothing but a collection of some memories which in turn creates some new memories. What is life without memories? It holds us back and at the same time makes us move ahead.It is there with us always. Sometimes it is the tear drop and sometimes it is in the smile and at times it is nothing but in the blank pages.

The tear drop that someone did not let go waste and the one that died anonymously are tributes to memories.

The flicker of smile, the subdued shine in the eyes, the fluttering of soul, and the throbbing of life conjure up memories.

My memories are like the innumerable pebbles lying on the shore of my life. Like a little girl, barefooted I walk around and collect them in the spread of my frock. I name each of the pebble I collect. Some becomes poem, some becomes scribbles and stories, some becomes paintings and some remains unnamed.

The basket that I call “White Window”, today, has got its golden pebble in it. And I named this pebble “Recollecting Memories”. Hope this basket will be divine enough to accommodate infinite numbers of eternal pebbles in it.

On this occasion of my 50th post I would like to express a token of gratitude to all of you who have been so special in this journey of my “White Window” with me.

~~~***~~~

~Windchime~

From my white window beauteous

Hangs a windchime since many days,

Seven sticks of whose in delight plays,

My life’s musical notes as it sways.

With every blow of air and each drop of rain,

The windchime starts to sing and swing,

To remove the patches of unheard pains.

The memories when usher sleepless nights,

The seven sticks join to sing lullaby

Soothing the soul, the music turns

Pained memories to a lifelong gain.

In the vastness of my blue skies,

My heart, like a small paper kite flies,

My mind’s strings doesn’t let go-

My mercy pleas to sorrows in denial dies..

Yet dances merry the fragile kite in the sky,

With every beat of the old windchime

And when my heart loses its path and weeps,

The windchime’s tunes holds me aloft and high..

Whenever the soothing air seems far away,

And gloomy remains the world, all night and day

Hope is what my windchime never loses..

The hope of air, and the hope of rain

And the hope itself becomes "The Music of Silence".

~~~***~~~

Pixie Dust, I and Our 2 min of Fame !

Guess what!!! This year Santa actually came with a gift for me. Do you know what it is?

Read on to find out.

I was poking around in the city walk mall. It was a Wednesday and the weekly flea market was held in the huge sprawling area of the mall. I stopped over there and poked my head inside a hut shaped stall and to my utter surprise saw numerous cute puppies crawling here and there. I heard Santa ringing his virtual bell somewhere nearby.

A poster grabbed my attention:

“this Christmas adopt a puppy:

give home to a puppy and give your child a best friend”.

Last December I lost my Tom- my cute li'l doggie and since then his memories have not left me alone. But yesterday I leaped in joy at this opportunity to adopt a puppy and fulfilled my long cherished desire to have a pet again.

I immediately went ahead to select a pup for me. So many cute pups were playing around. Some were sleeping, a few were the restless lost eager to showcase their enthusiasm and few were just quite. All of them were of Indian breed. They were perfectly taken care of and well groomed by the PFA members. All of them were so cute that anybody would fall in love with them. This did not confuse me to select the one, meant just for me.

She was the prettiest- the only princess ruling there- a bit restless yet graceful OP. OP- that was she was fondly called by the members. I learned from them that she would complete 2 months on 15th jan and that her mom was a mixed-labra breed.

The moment I held her in my arms, I touched beauty. Her black eyes bore an innocent look that melted my heart like the way an ice-cream melts. Her golden-brown fur was very smooth and soft. I hugged and patted her lovingly. She appeared very quite and curious in my company and was well mannered. I noticed an orange string around her neck with a ‘Sai baba’ locket. (guess it was a divine clue, since I have tremendous faith in Saibaba!)

Quicky I completed the adoption procedure which included a submission of a form and a registration fee. This is an initiation by PFA(People For Animal) under the guidance of Dr. Ambika Shukla(sister of Menaka Gandhi). I interacted with some of the members and they educated me about overall care of the puppy. The best part is she will get free vaccination and other health check-ups for her entire life.

Meanwhile a lady following my activities approached and requested me to say a few words about this whole experience for her evening show of NDTV India. I agreed sheepishly and wow! It felt great to be on air.

I held OP carefully in my lap and started walking towards my home. On my way home, I baptized her “Pixie Dust”. My dear “Pixie”.

Every one in my home were delighted specially my lil bro. As if these happiness were not enough, I even get to see myself on NDTV India news channel while cuddling my Pixie to no end.

It was amazing to see myself on screen. I sounded sweet. Pixie and I reflected a beautiful bond onscreen. Gosh! I was looking beautiful too, not to mention about my Pixie. ;) :P


Pixie Dust is the best X’mas gift I have ever received. This cute li'l Pixie has wrapped my world with so much more warmth and happiness.

PS: well at present she behaves like a new-born who only eats and sleeps and it is a blessing to have her in my life.

Love you Pixie. :)

~~~***~~~

Oh! Santa!

Oh! Santa,

You told me to look at the brighter side of life

Wiping the tears I must always smile

I am so lucky to be born this way

Where the world around me dances in gay.

While on merry-go-round, enjoying my ride

I close my eyes on the forlorn child

But my restive soul keeps pondering over

To the unlucky ruffians and shambled rover .

For you,

Stars and bells lay shining on the tree

Every face lay lit glimmer with glee

Every hand is a Christmas gift galore

In your sleigh Santa, you enter every door.

But will you visit the lovelorn child,

His shattered life will you compile,

All those ones who are marred by fate

Will you give them a slice from your cake? 

Agony and despair is their only friend.

Oh! Santa,

Will you ever alter this Perennial Trend?

Tell me,

With whom shall I celebrate dear,

With the blessed souls or the hearts soaked in tear?

~~~***~~~

Wish you all Merry Christmas! :)