I Love

Post after post dealing with melancholy this is now time to rejuvenate and for some happy introspection. So let me list certain things I love and thus unclutter my mind a bit. Life is simple and let me keep it like that for some time. Errr.... at least for a day. :)

1. Mountains: I can never do justice in expressing my love for it. I feel like home in the wide arms of Mountains. Even before I had the opportunity to visit one, I felt a strong connection with it. Everything about it attracts me and the attraction, the love, and the deep connection never cease to amaze me. Last September I went to Mc.Leodganj and my 3 days trip easily got stretched to 7days and yet I was just not ready to come back home. I want to go back in the arms of some beautiful mountain like right now. 

2. Snowfall: I have no idea when exactly my love affair with it started. But till date I have got only one opportunity to experience its love back. It was in the year 2006 and during my Amarnath Trip, the heavenly nature bestowed me with snowfall. I can still feel that ecstasy running on my spine, the ecstasy of snow-flakes gracing my body and my soul.

3. Light House: I just don't know why. I often imaging myself on the top of a light-house. Silence. Moonlight. And just Me. Sometimes with Him too.

4. Cheesecakes: I just can have cheesecakes all the time. My happiness knew know bound when I made one at home myself. The moment was euphoric.

5. Food: Yes I do. And I love to try different cuisines. My food lists will never have an end to it.

6. Soup: I can never adjust soup in Food category. It is an absolute independent category and I can happily live a major part of my life on SOUP.

7. DND road: there is certain kind of beauty over that stretch of road. Whenever I am there the beauty encapsulates me. I feel a queer sense of peace over there. The wide DND toll road, the Yamuna over flowing beside, the greenery around, the cool-soothing breeze, the twinkling street-lights and the glittering vehicles and their sparkling reflections on the river ; everything has an intoxicating effect on me.

8. Bicycles: Nothing… almost nothing can replace my love for it. And for some reasons unknown I can never leave it behind. Well to be honest I know the reasons and may be one day I will write on it too.

9. Poems and poets: and I always excited to know/feel/understand what went inside the poet’s heart and mind that lead to a birth of poetry.

10. Ikebana: My love for flowers, nature, art, stories, concepts, minimalism and Japan are the reasons behind my love for Ikebana. In this life time of mine I will surely master the art of Ikebana one fine day.

11. Rainfall: I forget just everything. Only a certain kind of happiness fills me up. I have so many fantasies associated with it.

12. Quilling and paper art: It is amazing how a piece or just a strip of paper can create a whole new world. I wish I could give more time to quilling.

13. Peepal leaf: For me it is the most beautiful leaf on earth. And I love to paint on it.

14. Ink pens: :)

15. Watches: Along with books and ink-pens, gift me a watch and see me on the top of the world.

16. Traveling and exploring the unknown.

17. Photographs: explains why I have hordes and hordes of photographs with me. This includes the photo of silliest of silly things. I am not a photographer but someone who loves to click.

18. My girlfriends: No explanation needed. I just love them for no reason.

19. Bending straws and the cute li’l Mocktail Umbrellas: :D

20. My phone which is a brand new Galaxy Note II. And I just can’t get enough of it. Yes, it is li’l big and heavy to carry but then love is blind too. :)

21. Holding his hands.And just silence all around.

22. Balconies. Corners. Candles and Lamps.

23. Wind on my face and in my ever entangled hair.

24. Musical Fountains.  And how to stop my heart from swaying with every beat and move of it?

25. Bangles, Bracelets and earrings.

26. Dogs, Crows, Sparrows, and Squirrels. Those cute li'l things brims me with happiness. Yes a crow too. I find crow to be one of the most handsome birds. I love humming birds too but have never seen it for real. And my life is incomplete without my dogs around me.

27. Sunflowers. Whenever I am sad I imagine for a field full sunflowers. It helps me to overcome my pain. And just the thought of sunflowers makes me happy.

28. Feathers, Dried flowers, and Dried Leaves kept inside the pages of my books

29. Shantaram. He or the book.... i just can't decide. And needless to say i love the Man behind him.... Gregory David Roberts.

30. Leonardo DiCaprio:  i am not just madly in love with him but plain insane about him. Lock me in a room and let me watch his movies back to back. I won't complain at all. Oh! God! will i ever get to kiss him??

I can't end the post without mentioning my love for Windows. My entire blog reflects my love for it. And i need to dedicate a complete post for expressing my love for the windows.

Love & Hugs
~Pree

How a li'l closure goes a long way!

Okay, why don’t you just scroll through your contact list and see if there’s any contact number that’s completely useless and yet is gracing your list? Is there any? So, what do you now decide to do with it and why? Delete? No? Why? Is it only because you think that you might need it sometime in future? Okay, I believe there must be other reasons too. Isn't it? I want to know the reasons? Mind telling me? Please? 

Though I keep pruning my contact lists from time to time, there are certain numbers that I have never thought of deleting even when I thoroughly know that I am not going to talk to that person ever again. It’s tough to bring myself to delete any of them. Because you just never know. 

Is it because deleting a contact number symbolizes the very act of ‘moving on’? Does that mean the particular person affects our life no more and that their existence has got nothing to do with our life anymore? Perhaps. And is it also because we are afraid to accept the truth? Perhaps again. Or is it just to run away from the reality as we say ignorance is the bliss. Or else ‘Out of sight hence out of mind’ kind of state? Is it our attempt to wipe that person out and gradually erase the associated memories forever? 

Circumstances changed. You changed. I changed. And everything between us changed. There were no more promises left and all the dreams have died too. What did not change was my inability to accept the change. I kept myself tied to the memories and dragged them with me. I could not get the closure on you because everything in my view ended suddenly and abruptly. For me it was still unfinished. To be very honest I was tired of myself and of this continues act of lingering on the memories. Note, it was not that the memories were lingering on me but the opposite. 

30th Jan, the day you left Delhi just like that, I realized, it’s too much now. It was heady concoction of mixed feelings which had strong elements of anger, sorrows, and disappointments along with few drops of hatred as well. How could you just leave, leaving everything behind? Then with uncontrollable tears in my eyes and out of control heartbeats, I just deleted you from my lists be it FB, Phone Address book, or Watsapp. I deleted every single message of yours in no time. I did all this in such a lightning speed that there was no time left for my heart ponder over and my mind to think on. Else I might not have been able to do this ever. 

How bizarre our lives have become that it has got confined within the walls of our phones. Sigh! 

Call me a Moron or whatever you like but somehow this Moving On would not have been possible had I not deleted you out of my lists. 

But, isn't it true too what Robin Scherbatsky says, what about that? 

"You can't delete contacts from your brain, Lily."

~Inspired from,

How I Met Your Mother

Season 6

Title:  Unfinished

Original Airdate: October 4, 2010

There are many instances where i could relate my life to TV Serials, movies, songs, and books. This post has been written in my mind the day I watched the re-run of this episode. To read my other posts where again I have found the inspiration in TV serials click here.

Giving up?

I have always been a whimsy writer. If it is not something urgent and not related to work or studies, I find it very difficult to write if the thoughts do not come on their own from within.

Now the greatest problem I face is that various thoughts keep hovering in my mind all the time. And my heart never stops to generate feelings too. But somehow my weakness to procrastinate writing has prolonged for so long that it has now turned to a habit. It seems, now the Words are paying me back for my age-old callousness towards them. It kills me from within and the fact that I have already missed my F post and my complete cluelessness about what to write on the other alphabets too is choking me to worst kind of death.

My mind has churned out several ideas for F. I even scribbled few lines but could not connect them and weave together to a final something. And I, until and unless am not satisfied with my write-ups even to a miniscule bit, cannot make up my mind to post it on my blog. Somehow just for the sake of posting I cannot post. I have this uncanny ability to go harsh on me and my write-ups all the time. I am just never happy and contended.

I checked my draft folder and found several write-ups that never saw the daylight. Out of them many are even jinxed for they are destined to remain incomplete forever. I could have easily picked one out of them, modified it a bit and turned it in to a post of the day. But blame it on my overconfidence or on my zeal to come out of my comfort zone that I did not settle for it. There is this invincible thirst in me to write something new that is not letting me do that. I know if I post my older write-ups I will end up doing that for many days to come. But that will defy the very purpose for which I have joined this A to Z Blogging challenge.

I feel frustrated and very much disappointed now. It is just the beginning of the challenge and by the 6th day only, my words…once again are giving up on me. It hurts and I do not know how to express it. My heart is weeping and bleeding and I don’t know how to tend my heart and sooth it’s pain. I wish writing came easy to me. I wish.

But the question still remains the same,

Am I Giving up? 

Well! No! Not yet. Not this soon at least.

Embracing Ecstasy

I so feel like crashing down on your bare chest-
Disheveled.
Your hands on my bare back-
Pristine.
A Linen that Failed to cover us.
Nothing but the light of our eyes.
Breathes. Heartbeats.

Every thing in Silence.
Everything in Dark.

Baby, I allow you to light a cigarette. For the aura of smoke and the light it would add.

Dreamcatcher

While I stir my tea with that li’l silver spoon, I miss you no more. The only thing it reminds me now is of the man with stained teeth, who how easily convinced us to buy it from him. I also vaguely remember the corner table where we crooned over the spoon forgetting entirely about our mud-cake in that nameless bakery point. He claimed it to be an antique piece capable of bringing good luck to us whenever we stir our tea with it. Lucky charm! Is not that we called it? And in between the layers of all these vagaries, I realized again that I truly miss you no more. Still few left-over memories, just like the design intricately carved on the spoon, are etched forever on the handle of my heart. But what about the love that vaporized leaving nothing but drops of lemon in the tea cup?

~*~ 

No, the past does not haunt me any longer. It’s just that I have lost the art of trusting. Or the way I see it now, it is the unceremonious inability to trust my own heart anymore that still evokes zillions of feelings and emotions. At one moment happiness brims me up. And the next it’s the incorrigible tears that fight to escape their negligible existences. 

You came in my life just like a scented waif of air. Amidst the cacophony of modern madness that whistles in and around the concrete jungle of Delhi-NCR, your eyes caught the doleful me who tried her best to put up a happy face. And every time you wipe those invisible tears that fall from my eyes…. I feel my heart reaching one step nearer to you. It becomes a huge task to have a control over the heart-beats that go mad and thrive to tear the heart apart. 

But I am afraid of the love that my soul encounters in your deep eyes. Unlike mine, your eyes are of darker brown color… a shade towards black almost. I see the element of love swimming there …gleefully giving birth to hope, aspirations and uncountable starry dreams. I am afraid of them for I don’t trust my own emotions anymore… for I am afraid to have that power in my hands to hurt you in any possible way. 

When your hands subtly touch me… I experience ripples of emotions in me. As if the li’l silver spoon has stir me from within. And then…my heart speaks in the language of poetry…verse after verse I fall in love with you. But suddenly in the mid of this entire cosmos I feel myself drowning. The ripples contract and suck me in. And at that very moment of oscillating stubborn memories, word by word the poetry fades, the love ebbs and all there is left to experience is a dappled blank paper. I am afraid to be that blank paper in your life devoid of feelings, emotions, and colors for you. The silver spoon fails to stir me anymore. 

When at night, you shield me in your arms… leaving just the enough space to breath heavily. I hallucinate under the spell of your magical voice. I see a field of blooming sunflowers… swaying with the wind and laughing with the sun. For some miniscule moments… I just want to break all the self-made shackles that adorn me and run towards the Unknown with you. But I am afraid… for I know the sunflowers will wither and I won’t have anything left in me to love you with. Just like disposable tea-cups I am afraid to abandon you there. Silly tea-spoons are not meant for stirring love. 

It’s not that I don’t understand your love for me. It’s just that the magic of the Tea-cups and the Tea-spoons don’t work on me anymore. I guess I have grown up and these things are best left to the small girls to play with. 

Unlike him, on this birthday of mine you should gift me a Dream-catcher instead.